Marking My X's

Recently, I've been doing a lot of thinking about what I value. I guess that sounds like pretty big thinking for a 19 year old. To be honest, I agree. But the more people I meet and talk to, the more I ask myself who am I, where do I stand, what's important to me?

To get straight to the nerdy truth, I started thinking about my life as a video game. Specifically, RuneScape. Save the jokes please. The amount of time I used to spend playing that game is really the joke itself. Okay, now hear me out.

I think of everything I do now in terms of stories to tell and well... experience points. When I have to choose between buying an expensive purse or something of that nature or saving that money for concert tickets, I choose concert tickets.

Although part of me really wants to wear expensive things and look ultra-fabulous another part of me knows that none of that will make my future metaphorical kids say, "Wow my mom was so cool when she was young." And yes, I'm already trying to impress my kids. Doing my best to avoid the lame parent cliche already.

But anyway, I think of going to a Kanye West concert as like +10 experience points, because HOW AWESOME IS IT THAT I SAW KANYE WEST LIVE. If my kids aren't impressed by that, then they're the ones who are lame. Passing down a 20+ year old purse or coat won't mean anything. It'll most likely be out of style and everyone's going to wonder why you're clinging to the bad fashion of the "old days". But no one's going to wonder why you're still talking about the concerts you went to. They'll know why, it was awesome and it was worth remembering. It's worth talking about 20 years later.

While the experiences you have, like going to a concert, are experience points, I think the world is really just a map to mark your X's. For a long time I thought I never wanted to leave New York. Seriously, never. But now, all I can think about is all the places I want to have memories in. Sure, I've already started marking my X's. East 105 St. is always going to be the first place in NYC I lived. East 25th and Lex. is going to be my alma mater.

But what if San Francisco is supposed to be the first place I get a real job? What if I'm supposed to dance on bar tables in Dallas? What if I'm supposed to get a nasty scar on my calf in Sydney, Australia? What if I'm supposed to find my "something blue" at a street market in Greece? Or Italy? Or Thailand?

I don't want my life just to be a collection of Chanel purses or Yves Saint Laurent necklaces. As beautiful as those things are, what do they mean? What do they represent? I want my life to be a collection of old CD's, ticket stubs, photos, piercings, and everything else no one else can have. I want my life to be a collection of the places I've been, the things I've seen, the people I've met. I guess I'm just coming to realize that no one's going to care about all the beautiful things you have unless you can tell them why it's so beautiful to you.

Good vibes ya'll

Priya